One year
before the repose of Elder Joseph, while I was saying the prayer in sync with
my breathing during vigil, something amazing happened. A state of prayer came
to me that I cannot find words to describe. Suddenly, my nous entered my heart,
and my nous, my heart, and the prayer became one! I could not tell where I was.
All I can say is that the prayer was being said within my heart, and I felt
sublime sweetness and an indescribable bliss. I do not know how long this
lasted. When I regained my senses, I felt an inexpressible tranquility and
sweetness, and I had many tears.
Afterwards, I
went to Geronda and said:
“Something
has happened to me, Geronda.”
“What
happened to you?”
“While I was
praying, suddenly my nous became enclosed within my heart. I became unaware if
there was anything else in the world.” And I described that state of grace to
him. Then Geronda said to me:
“From this
state of prayer, the nous will later ascend above. From this point on, the
rapture of the nous begins. During and after this state, the nous leaves and
goes to theoria. When I first experienced this state, I went and stayed in a
cell so small that I could barely fit inside. It was so small that I nearly
asphyxiated. I stayed in it for a year. Make sure that you hold on to what you
felt and experienced; do not lose it!” Another time when I told Geronda what I
was experienc¬ing, he ecstatically exclaimed:
“Oh, blessed
obedience! Obedience—you are truly sovereign [among virtues]. My child, in
order to taste these heavenly blessings, Gero-Arsenios and I shed much blood in
ascesis. But you disciples, merely through diligent obedience, are enjoying the
same grace we had. Hold on to obedience with all your soul; there is no path
easier and higher than this."
